02.28.08

Life and shit

Posted in Curacao at 10:03 am by Soosh

I had some week.. again :) I got ‘dismissed’ at work. I was not what they were looking for in the team. However, in my opinion, what they are looking for in the team doesn’t exist. Some want their new colleague to be a serious, quiet personality, others want their new colleague to be a ‘bubbly’ personality, if that makes any sense. And well, I’m just me and I actually happen to like me.

I was told I wasn’t myself, which might be partly true, because there is some shit going on in my life. However, when I -was- myself, I was told that I should be more serious and not as ‘loud’ if I remember correctly. This to me, is kind of funny, because everybody who has ever met me, knows I’m a lot of things, and loud is definitely (part of) me. If I’m told I can not be loud (or can not be me), all I can do is just be quiet, there is no in between with me.

A VERY long story short, it was an extremely confusing time. I’m happy I don’t have to go there anymore. The people there are nice i guess, but very weird. There is however one co-worker I’m sorry I can’t work with anymore. He has a real cool attitude, a very fuck-the-world-and-prepare-to-get-fucked-if-you-fuck-me kind of person. Besides, he was the only person who was completely honest as far as I could tell and that is admirable. Especially in an environment where everybody is walking on eggshells all day and trying not to ‘hurt peoples feelings’ and if that happens anyway, talk about it endlessly. I mean.. no offense, but at the end of the day, it’s just a job.

Ah well, on to the next job! I sure hope that at my next job, people are not offended immediately when I say something wrong, do something stupid or by just being myself. One thing came to mind while writing this.. my teamleader told me I was asking questions about things ‘i didn’t have to know yet’. Dude.. seriously.. I’m fucking curious about what I’m doing and why and you’re telling me that’s a bad thing? I have never heard something that ridiculous, a normal employer loves his employees to be curious.
In the real world, that’s a good thing!

So, I hope that if someone at this company reads this, I have not offended anyone (they do have my address you know?). However, if I did, i guess that kind of proves my point. I do wish all those people the very best and I have no grudges.

For the one person I spoke about specifically; don’t you ever change! :)

Love,
Soosh

02.16.08

I’m from Holland, where the fuck you from?

Posted in Curacao at 8:38 pm by Soosh

After spending 2 years in the Caribbean, I’m finally home. I also feel at home again, which took some time after being gone for so long. I now remember how to get where in my own town and what the quickest way is to get there. I’m not constantly freezing anymore and after finding a job, my life is almost back to normal. All I want is my boyfriend back and than everything will be great.
Of course there is always shit going on, my life (unfortunately) didn’t get all perfect all of a sudden. But it has been a long time since it felt right and now finally it’s feeling right again. I found out that I actually -can- survive on my own and I also learned that I really don’t want to. So now I’m just living my life and enjoying the small, sometimes even tiny things. That little bit of sunshine that warms you, that kind smile of a person who loves you and the realization that you are in the greatest place in the world: Home.

Love,
Soosh